dUdEgiri v/s Matkagiri

"Aap log ab fifth year mei jayenge and now you all are M Tech students. Isliye ab research mei apna dhyaan lagaiye. "
and now you all are M Tech students....
you all are M Tech students....................
M Tech students........................................

Our beloved Professor continued with his speech on the final end-sem exam of our fourth year and lectured us on the kind of RESEARCH he was expecting from us..But the only thing that kept ringing in my ears was " M Tech Students...M. Tech.......MATKA".On that day I realized that finally the thing that we all dual degree students (referred as dUdEs from here on) never wanted to hear or see was right there in front of us->Research..M. Tech.

The glorious days of B Tech masti were about to be over. While our " Four year waale friends" were going to a completely new life which would be full of money and luxury we would be left to linger here for one more year.

"Abe akele rahega to ma bahen ek ho jayegi"
"Abe Matke tu toh tut aur lab lega to bachhe doubt poochke nanga kar denge"
"Abe haddu bhasha ke course bhi sikh lio. Varna matka community se bahar ho jayega"
Was this the end of all good things???
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Some excerpts from Gtalk:

me: Aur bhai kaisa hai?
Four Year waala friend: Yaar Tandon roorkee ki yaad aa rahi hai
me: Kyu yaar ab to tujhe join kiye hue do hafte ho gaye.Ab to naye dost ban gaye honge.
FYWF: Abe jhantu log hai yaar yaha sab. Woh baat nai hai. Upar se koi mast si bandi bhi nai hai poore office mei
me: Oh. Chal koi nai. Atleast kama to raha hai.
FYWF: Kaha yaar. Sab moh maya hai. Khana bhi itna ghatiya hai. SP ke samne sab fail hai yaar yaha.
me: Koi nai yaar weekend wagerah par ghumne chale jana. Sab badia ho jayega
FYWF: Kya weekend. Wohi bando ke saath malls jao aur bandia tapo. Frastiyapa aur bad jata hai. Is baar to saturday bhi working hai. Yaar apna roorkee hi badia thha. Tune sahi kia jo dual le li bhai. Mujhe to sabki yaad aati hai.
me: Are nai yaar. Tu dekh dheere dheere sab badia ho jayega.
FYWF: Aur bata tera kya chal raha hai
me: Mera mast hai yaar. Prof ne yaha do mahine ke kaam ke liye teen mahine ka stipend de dia hai
FYWF: Phodu. Phir kya karega itne paiso ka?
me: Is weekend second eurotrip par ja raha hun. Belgium, Amsterdam, Paris, Venice, Pisa, Florence, Rome, Stockholm.
FYWF: Mast hai yaar. Kaun kaun hai?
me: Saare dUdEs ikathe ho rahe hai. Milke ash katenge. I think Barcelona trip se better hogi. Vaise barcelona mei live football match ka experience, woh bhi meri fav football team ka, woh bhi europe ke sabse bade stadium mei, jisme mere fav player ne do goal kiye, beat karna mushkil hoga.
FYWF: Haan yaar. Tune toh jannat dekh li. Bas roorkee vaapis aakar fategi. Ham sab to bas yaad mei rote hi rehte hai. Kisi tarah adjust kar rahe hai.
me: Haan yaar abhi tak to thik hai. Dekho roorkee jakar kya haal hota hai.

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"Arre Tandon sir aapne bhi blogging?"
"Haan yaar aise hi vella time thha to socha chalu kar dun."

"Kyu class wagerah nahi hoti?"
" Arre hoti hai na. Hafte mei poore 4 ghante lectures hai. Woh bhi prof cool hai. Abhi poore mahine mei ek hi lecture attend kia hai."

"Arre mast. Lekin aap sab dUdEs ka toh woh final year thesis types hota hai na?"
"Haan hota hai lekin sab badia hisaab kitaab hai. Hafte mei ek baar jakar guide se mil lo. Kuch bhi fatte de do. Koi load nai deta. Ab tak to intern wala kaam dikha kar hi sab chala raha hun ."

" Badia. Aur din bhar to aap sote rehte ho. Kyu? "
" Shaam ko TT n Football khelene chala jata hun.Phir raat bhar movies and bakar chalti hai. Nightout maarke subah aaram se so jata hun. Din mei zyada kuch karne ko hota nai hai isliye sona hi best hai. bas 10-12 ghante so kar fir dubara khelna chalu kar deta hun."

" Yeh sahi hai, Fir weekend par kya kar rahe ho?"
"Arre yaha har din hi weekend hai. Vaise is baar Delhi ja raha hun. Do hafte ho gaye ghar gaye hue. "

"Ghar ja rahe ho ya........."
"Bas tum to samajhdaar ho. Samajh jao!!"

"Mast. Aur aap logo ki to placements bhi mast hogi."
"Haan yaar woh to december mei hai. Tab ki tab dekh lenge."

"Sahi hai na endsems ka pressure na attendence ka. Baaki dUdEs to suna hai Mock cats bhi phod rahe hai. Akhir itna vella time jo hai preparation ke liye. Yaha to classes hi nai khatam hoti taiyaari kya khaak karenge."
" Koi nai yaar. Sab ho jata hai."

" Haan dUdEs hote to sab ho hi jata. Aur baaki job waale dost kaise hai?"
"Thik thak hai. Adjust kar rahe hai nayi life se. Ab roorkee jaisi ash waali life to kaha hi milegi waha. Bas roz 9-6 wala job. Par thik hai sab compromise karke settle ho hi jayenge. Sab bas roorkee ko yaad karke purane dino ke baare mei sochte rehte hai."

" Haan job mei to yahi scene hai. Meri to jitne seniors se baat hoti hai bas ek do ko chhod kar sab frustrate se hi rehte hai. Aap ka sahi hai ek saal aur ash ka yaha."
" Haan yaar aise din dubara kaha milte hai. Vaise agle mahine Bangalore jane ki soch raha hun. Woh sab to aane se rahe yaha Roorkee. Unke to holidays bhi ginke hote hai."

"Sahi hai aap ghum aao. Aur woh sab to sponsor bhi kar denge."
"Ha Ha. Haan dekho sponsor karte hai ki nai. Chal thik hai yaar. Ab main library mei jakar ac mei baithta hun. achhi neend aati hai waha."

"Haan aap jao. Mera to lab hai abhi. Baad mei aapke room par aaunga. Nude Beach waali pics dekhne."
"Sure.Tujhe special waali dikhaunga!!"

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dUdEgiri wins. Period

I, Me, Myself!!!

"CS chhodo yaar..kal ts hai..aaj to pad lo!!"
"Kitna ghisega bhai..kabhi bakar bhi kaat lia kar..dassi se uppar koi grade nahi hai yaha"
"Interview ke liye bhi kuch pad le guru...HR to thik hai lekin tech waalon ke saamne fatte nahi chalenge"
"Arre bhai Inter iit se bad kar aur kuch nai hai...cat wagerah to phod hi dega tu..chal kal se courts par aa jaio"
"Bandi wandi sab moh maya hai...be single..be happy and gay"

Yes this and many more. I ain't finish yet. I somehow never run out of advices and suggestions. Even if my friends don't need them or don't want me to give it to them I somehow feel that I have been given this divine honour of helping people out of their confusions. I have this inner urge of sharing my priceless(or is it worthless??don't know pls ask Chandra) words of wisdom and experiences(even if I don't have I just make it up!!) on how one should lead his(and sometimes her also) life. But lately I have been thinking about this: What about my own life??? And more I think about it , more the number of question marks keep on sprouting up from everywhere. So if I don't know how I should lead my own life do I have a right to judge or maybe comment on how others should lead their life?? Maybe not..No not maybe..Surely not.

So from now onwards, I am just gonna keep quiet. No more of my "Bore you to death" lectures. No more of "Hey do this...hey do that". I mean just cant decide on my own on simple things like: TT??Football??Athletics...
Tech??Finance??Marketing??Consultancy??Or maybe something more humanitarian!!
Cognizance??Placements??Inter IIT??
Priya??Supriya??Neha??Sneha????

I don't have an iota of an idea on what I would be doing once I get out of this institute next year(hopefully). I think it would be better if i should start looking at my own life(little selfish) and do some soul searching.

I know some of you might be laughing at this...some maybe heaving a sigh of relief..some might be surprised..and I expect few might be disappointed(I know you will miss my talks:-))

But from here on..The only thing on my mind would be: I, me , myself!!!!


P.S.: And i also read this on some one's status on Gtalk:
We all know how everyone else should lead their life...But we don't know what to do with ours....
And now I know for sure " Great Minds think alike "

The Curse Remains!!!

"Milk is on the left counter ".
"Thanks". Of course I know that milk is on the left counter. Why couldn't I think of any other way to start a conversation. Probably she didn't recognise me. And there she walked away and here I am just going towards the left counter.

But still I had one more chance.She was sitting at the counter. This time I am going to ask her out. I cant wait any longer now. So now I stand in the queue. I hear some big thumping sound. It gets more noisy as I move towards her. Oh wait a minute. That's my heart beat.
Take long deep breath. Calm down Vaibhav. This is Sweden. Nothing wrong can happen here? Come on dude just ask her.
Ok there she is. The time has come.

" Hey ".
"Hello".
She starts putting my stuff through the machine. Say something you coward.
"Hey did you read the note I gave it to you ?".
Puzzled look.
"The yellow note I gave you yesterday".
" Yeah".And then she just started smiling. Is it a smile? Or is she laughing at my stupidity? Is she blushing? Did she even read it or she is just making fun of me? Should I say something or should I wait for her? Should I....
" Twenty three kronors".
"There you go. By the way my name is Vaibhav".
" What?".
"My name...V A I B H A V". And I am the biggest dumb ass in this world.
"Oh Ok My name is Ashlee."
"Thanks".

And I walk out of the store with my head hidden behind the hood of my jacket so that no one recognizes me after this greatest act of stupidity in the history of mankind. Not only have I acted like a fool, I have also rubbed her off. Right now she would be making jokes about me with her friends. I am never going to this store again.


After one week:

Come on man. You like her. You gotta tell her. After all what will happen. She might say no (Strong chances of that). Or maybe her boy friend would drop out from the back and give me a good bashing. Suddenly the scene from DCH flashes across my mind :"Mard ban..Be a man". Aamir Khan is right. After all its Sweden.

And so again I walk out of my hostel towards the store. But this time I just stand outside and wait for the store to close.

Its 8.15 pm and the store closed at 8pm. She is still not there. probably she is doing some stuff inside.
8.30 pm. Whats happening? Where is she? Has she gone away through some secret door. Or did she see me standing outside and...
There she is. Again I hear that thumping sound. But I ain't gonna stop this time.

"Hey".
"Hey".
"Can I talk to you for a minute".
"Yeah sure".
"Thanks. You might not recognize me but I am a regular visitor of your store" What am I saying ." But that's not important. Actually I wanted to tell you something but just couldn't muster any courage to say so". Enough of your self praising. Come to the point.
"Ok.please go ahead".
"Well actually I don't mean to hurt you". Hurt her? I don't even know her." But I think you are really cute and sweet. Please don't be angry I don't mean anything bad but it would be great if we can go out for a coffee". There I said it in one single breath.
"That's very sweet of you, but..."
"Oh I don't mean anything more than just some friendly conversations. Nothing more than that".
"Thanks , but ..."
"Oh I see you have a boyfriend..Or maybe you are very busy. I am sorry I should have known that".
"No it's not like that". Again that smile. Or is she laughing again. On my face.
"But you see I am here for two months and I don't have many friends so I thought maybe we can..."
"Wait listen". And then she showed me her finger. Wow now even a Swedish girl is showing me her finger. Some level I have achieved.

But hey it was not her middle finger.Then why is she showing it? Is it some Swedish way of cursing.

Oh wait a minute. There was a RING on her finger. Something crashed somewhere.
"Oh f*#k...I mean I am sorry. Shit. I am sorry, I mean I didn't know you were engaged".
"I am not engaged". The hope is still alive.
"Then?".
"I am actually married".Now I know that wasn't a crash. That was my heart being shattered into a million pieces.
"What.F#*k. I am so sorry. I mean not sorry because you are married. Congrats. But how?".
"What how? Don't you think I can get married. Am I that bad?".
"No no. I mean you look so young. And so I thought maybe you know...".
"Ha ha.Yeah I know. I am just 22 but last year my boyfriend and I decided to get married".
"Just like that?".
"Yeah. Just like that. Actually well me and my boy friend were really drunk and he proposed to me. I said yes and so we got married the next day at the church". Once more a scene flashed across my mind: Friends season 5 final episode: Ross and Rachel. But I never thought that it could happen in real life.
"Oh wow. That is so amazing. I think you might be the youngest bride in the whole of Sweden"
"He he. Maybe".
"And your hubby the luckiest guy in the whole world".
"How sweet. Thanks". I am sure this time it was a smile.
"Well I don't know what to say. I am just a little embarrassed. But congrats again".
"Thanks and don't feel stupid. It was very sweet".
"Yeah. By the way how's your husband. Any chances of divorce in the near future".
"What?".
"Nothing I am just kidding. I make stupid jokes when I am embarrassed". Please no more of self praising.
"Ha ha.It's ok. Nice to meet you".
"Ya same here. So hows your work going?".
"Nice. In fact I am going for a vacation to Singapore day after tomorrow. For a month. My second honeymoon". A wink.
"Oh so no divorce in the near future". One more wink.
"Ha ha yeah. Touch wood".
"Ok. Good luck for that. And I hope to see you around again sometime".
"Yeah sure. Are you from India?".
"Yeah. Nice guess".
"Wow. Amazing place".
"Ya it is".
"Anyways I gotta go now. Will catch you sometime later".
"Ok. Bye." Shake hand. I was hoping for a goodbye kiss.

There she walked away towards her car. And here I am just standing feeling more stupid than ever.
"And hey".
"What?".
"I think Shahrukh Khan is very hot". Wink. And the door is closed. She drives away.
Shahrukh Khan. Of all the actors she thinks SRK is hot. Oh come on. The street dog in my locality is hotter than SRK. Lucky that she was married. I mean SRK!!! What a bad choice. Glad that she didn't say yes to me.

Thank God the curse still remained!!!